My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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