So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
