He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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