i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize