Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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