I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
