We need to rekindle our bromance
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
