Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it was like eating out sand paper
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just invented taco cereal.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
