used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Your shirt... Was in my pants
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
