He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
