he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
In America we eat man semen.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
