i think my tv is drunk
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
