There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
