A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
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just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
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Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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