..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
