dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
