Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
farters have to be the big spoon...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
