What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize