Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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