Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
