all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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