Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
