Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
