Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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