he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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