Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
