i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
