Will you blow on my dice?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
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Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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