I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
