ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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