I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
