idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
