Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
