Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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