My liver just broke up with me...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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