Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
