i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
