Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize