I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
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alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
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Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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