highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
