it was like his penis was on wheels.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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