i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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