I'd wear matching sweaters with you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
