he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
