i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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