Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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