No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
