So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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