quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
