I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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