Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
