genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
