Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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