Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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