it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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