How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
