whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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