I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
