So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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