did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
