If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
