I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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