Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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